Last week, I was asked by one of my readers what my thoughts are about love. The nature of it; how people give and receive it. I’m not entirely sure what qualifies me to answer such a universally pertinent question. Presumably, the fact I write in the romance genre has some bearing on why queries such as this one land in my inbox. The best I can do is offer my perspective based on my own study and experience.

Love is the purest abstract force on the planet. When a person loves with all their heart they will achieve the impossible and the incredible but society has created complicated, and limiting, social constructs around love. When I write my books, I try to challenge some of those constructs. Try to reassure readers that love is worth surrendering to, whatever that looks like for them.

Perhaps the most problematic idea about love is that we only have so much of it to give. That love is a commodity we can measure by the pint and that our quest in this world is to figure out which select few we should offer our love to. Many of us may not even be conscious of thinking this but it is evident in our fear of giving love. If you believe you have an unlimited supply of one thing or another, you don’t mind being generous. As a society we are not generous with love and though we teach children that practice makes perfect, we are afraid to practice the most important thing we’ll ever do.

We don’t set this limit for any other abstract concept. We don’t believe there should only be a certain amount of sadness in us. We don’t believe that there’s a monthly cap on our jealousy or anger. But we do have this shared belief about love and that belief has led to a lack of love in the world we live in because we are convinced if we give too much, our stores will never replenish.

The truth is: your heart won’t run out of love. Your heart is not a well that will one day dry up. Love defies measurement. Logic. Definition. Limits.

In fact, the more of it you give out, the more you are likely to receive. The more likely your imaginary reserve will be renewed.

Most of my thinking about social constructs is inspired by observing the natural world, and whenever I think of a role model for giving love, I think about the apple tree. Tangential as this may sound, I promise there is a rationale. By autumn, all of the apple tree’s fruits have fallen. She’s given everything she has, trusting that in the spring more fruit will grow so she can again offer it all to the world. She gives without reservation in the literal sense. Some of her apples will be eaten and provide nourishment. Some will rot on the ground. The outcome does not dictate her giving and that is something for us all to aspire to. To trust ourselves and our journey enough to give all of our love and let the giving be its own reward.

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